The Boy Recession
by lyricalrevelations7
Summary: Sora Hikari really thinks the economy is getting better but his best friend Riku isn't talking about stocks he's talking about a boy recession. There isn't enough supply for all the demand so he thinks it's Sora's time to shine. Giving him a complete makeover to get all the girls. Kairi liked him before he changed and isn't happy with all the girls stealing her crush.


AN: This is kind of a new idea that I've been toying with. The idea was so interesting that I kind of had to just go with it. But the basis of the idea is from the book the Boy Recession by Flynn Meaney.

Chapter 1

Sora lazily strummed his guitar and leaned on the railing of the boat. The oceans gentle breeze and suns warmth made him feel more sleepy than usual. His best friend Riku threw some rope around and turned the sail. He probably should've been helping but his laziness as always got the best of him.

Riku stomped up to him, "Can't you at least pretend to help?"

"Sorry man I'm just feeling lazy today." he answered with a shrug.

The older boy rolled his eyes, "You're always lazy."

"Well I can't stop now."

Riku chuckled, "Dude your single and somewhat good looking behind that mess of hair. You should be getting some girls."

"My hair isn't that messy." he protested.

"Hikari I can barely see your face."

Sora shrugged, "I guess I kind of need a haircut."

"Look man we're in a recession." Riku said adamantly.

His brunette hair shifted more as he shook his head, "I don't know I think the economy is really getting bett..."

"I'm not talking about that you idiot I'm talking about the boy recession." the silver haired boy interrupted.

Sora snorted as he began to play the opening lines of Hey There Delilah, "A boy recession?"

"Think about it man. There's about 500 girls and 200 boys at our school. About half of the guys are taken and mostly by girls that don't go to our school. So the boy to girl ratio is completely uneven. Then there's only a couple of actually good looking guys in that mix. This is your time to shine." Riku answered excitedly.

He laughed, "I know you want to live vicariously through me because you have a girlfriend Riku but that seems ridiculous."

"Hey I love having a girlfriend I'm just trying to help your lazy ass."

Sora shot him a look, "Look I'm fine being my unpopular self."

"That's what all the unpopular guys say." his best friend dismissed.

"I don't really think any girls will want a piece of me even during an apparent recession."

Riku shook his head, "Like I said behind all that hair your actually look moderately acceptable. Plus you play soccer with the guys and girls love that. I'm an expert at girls Sora I can almost guarantee that I can help you."

"So you're really saying girls will start coming to me if I clean up a bit?" he asked incredulously. "I doubt it's that simple."

The senior shrugged, "Well there's a little more to it but I'm serious."

"I doubt even you could help get me girls." Sora joked.

"Just wait girls will actually start talking to you and then when I clean you up you'll have _all_ the girls talking to you."

He took a sip of water, "Okay fine Riku I'll let you have your experiment on me. But when this fails I promise to make fun of you."

"So you'll do whatever I say?"

"Yes I'll listen to you but I expect you to buy me food."

Riku snorted, "I already buy you food all the time if you haven't noticed."

"So Hopis?"

The silver haired boy rolled his eyes, "IHOP Sora, IHOP."

Instead of answering Sora began to randomly play chords. If he was being honest, he didn't believe in Riku's theory at all but he loved pancakes so he'd go along with it.

/ /

/ /

/ /

Kairi huffed angrily and savagely bit at her sea salt ice cream.

Her sister Namine looked at her strangely, "Umm Kairi is there something wrong?'

"I'll tell you what's wrong Nami we've got a recession!" she cried passionately.

The young artist tapped her chin, "I don't know I think the economy is really getting better."

"Not that kind of recession she's talking about a _boy_ recession." Selphie interjected.

She gave her friend a smile, "Thank you Selphie."

"I don't get it." Namine said confused.

Selphie sighed sadly, "Well my artsy friend the sad fact is that the girl to boy ratio at our school is frankly out of whack. And all the hottest guys are taken and pretty much by girls that don't even go to our school."

"So where does that leave us girls? In a load of crap." the red head stated.

Selphie nodded, "All the hotties like Riku, Zack, Cloud, and Tidus are taken. What are we left with? I'll tell you guys that are less than what we all deserve."

"Well her examples are kind of bad because they're all like my brothers but she's got the idea." Kairi agreed.

Namine shyly shook her head, "I think there are still some cute guys left."

"Like Roxas?" her sister teased.

The blonde quickly protested and tried to think of a name, "No! What about Sora?"

"No face Sora?" Selphie snorted.

Kairi blushed, "Well he actually isn't too bad looking."

"Well maybe if we actually saw his face we would have more to think about." Selphie replied brazenly.

The blonde gave her brunette friend a look, "There's more to life than just looks."

"I have to agree with Nami on this one." Kairi said.

Selphie shrugged, "Whatever."

The girls soon forgot their talk about the boy recession and moved on to talking about their back to school outfits. But in the back of her head Kairi couldn't help but think of Sora. He was so sweet and funny that it made her heart skip beats. She wouldn't really admit it but she had always liked him ever since they were kids. Sora used to be her best friend but when school came they gradually drifted apart. It was one of the few things she regretted in life. But maybe this year could be the year that everything changes. For the better anyway.

/ /

/ /

/ /

Sora lazily got up and began to get ready as his alarm went off. Usually he would curse at it and throw it against the wall but today he had to get up. The magical first day of school was happening. It was that one day a year that everyone actually put in effort. Girls who usually rocked the sweats everyday look wore stylish clothes. But as always Sora was an exception to the rule. He clearly refused to give in to the system but in reality he was just too lazy to put in any real effort.

After getting some breakfast, he jammed out to the Killers with a piece of toast in his mouth and put on a t shirt and jeans. He was definitely going to be late but he honestly didn't care. As he began to play air guitar the door of his room slammed open and he turned to see Riku and Roxas in his doorway. Before he could say anything they each grabbed an arm and dragged him out. He rolled his eyes and managed to grab his bag on the way out. They threw him into the backseat of Riku's prius and loudly slammed the door. Roxas wore a white windbreaker and a black v-neck underneath with a pair of simple chinos. While Riku looked like a tool with a black polo and dark jeans.

"Well hello to you too." Sora said as he rubbed the back of his head.

Roxas glared at him from the front seat, "We have to resort to kidnapping you because you won't come out in time!"

"I was busy." he cried indignantly.

Riku snorted, "Playing your air guitar?"

Instead of answering he blushed and looked out the window for the rest of the ride to school. Once they arrived they walked to their usual spot by the fountain in front of the school. Their other friends Zack and Tidus were already there and seemed to be having one of their usual arguments.

"I see we're all doing our usual thing." Riku said cheekily.

Zack just smiled, "Well you actually have a girlfriend so..."

"So how did you get Xion to go out with you? Zack thinks you drugged her but I think it's more like hypnotism." Roxas said thoughtfully.

Riku glared at them, "I just asked her out!"

"While you were hypnotizing her?" Tidus asked.

The senior just threw his hands up in exasperation and walked off.

Zack smiled at the juniors, "Hey guys I gotta go with Riku. See you later."

"Everybody's dating someone but you and me Rox." Sora said lazily.

Roxas shrugged, "If I liked a girl I would go after her but I just don't like anyone right now."

"And Riku told me that he's going to get you a girl Sora." Tidus said with a chuckle.

The brunette boy rolled his eyes, " I think he just wants to humiliate me."

"He's kind of right man. Now is the perfect time to get a girl with so many girls and so little boys." Roxas said.

Sora looked around the quad and could admittedly see a lot of girls. The few guys seemed to be surrounded by girls, even if they weren't as handsome as some of the popular boys.

He nodded, "I guess your right but that doesn't mean we're in a recession."

"I don't know the economy is really getting bette..." Tidus started.

Sora interjected, "Not that kind like a boy recession."

"Hmm a boy recession, huh?" Tidus said amused.

Roxas laughed, "It's all about supply and demand. But the thing is we've got plenty of demand and only a little supply."

"Well I'm not a part of that because I actually have a girlfriend." the blonde said excitedly.

Sora leaned on the fountain, "Where's Yuna anyway?"

"I don't know probably with Rikku with two K's and Paine." Tidus answered.

Roxas shuddered, "No offense man but your girlfriend's perkiness kind of freaks me out."

"What do you mean?"

Sora shrugged, "She's kind of like a cheerleader with ten shots of caffeine and a really bad sugar high. Only all the time."

"Thanks for putting it so gently." Tidus teased.

Roxas stared at him, "You're not even gonna hit him?"

"No way man I like her being super hyper, I think it's cute." the love struck teenager admitted.

Sora laughed, "And that's why they're the perfect couple."

Roxas and Tidus laughed with him as they walked into the school. He immediately noticed the clear shortage of guys and abundance of girls. You couldn't look left or right without finding a female. Sora literally saw eight boys in the whole hallway and that was including his friends.

"Where's our schedules?" Sora shouted to Roxas over the sound of the girls.

Roxas pointed in the direction of the gym, "They set up tables this year in the gymnasium. I think they're in alphabetical order."

"How are we supposed to get past these girls." Tidus said as he gestured to the girls clumping up the hallway.

Instead of answering him Sora expertly weaved through the crowd and made it to the gym within seconds. Tidus gave him a look and attempted to copy his movements. Roxas followed after him and looked uncomfortable with all the attention girls were giving him. No matter where he turned there was a girl there saying hi or flirting heavily. The other blonde was safe only because he had a girlfriend. Roxas was a good looking and generally nice guy so his popularity in the apparent boy recession would skyrocket. And if the looks he was getting was any indication he wouldn't be safe.

"What took you so long?" Sora teased Roxas and Tidus as they came up to him.

Tidus gave Roxas a slap on the back, "Mr. Popular over here had girls on him so it took a while."

"I will have nightmares." the shy blond cried.

Sora shrugged, "Things could be worse man. You could be like Angeal."

His other friends looked at where he pointed and chuckled loudly. Their friend was currently being swarmed by a large group of girls and uncomfortably trying to get away.

As soon as they all got their schedules they sat on the bleachers and waited for the morning bell to ring. After a couple of minutes Yuna bounced up to them with a large smile on her face. Rikku and Paine trailed behind her with amused expressions. The perky cheerleader on a sugar high wore a simple white tank top and long blue skirt. Paine wore a simple black outfit and Rikku looked perfect in khaki shorts and an orange v-neck paired with a long scarf.

"Hey guys!" Yuna said with a wave.

Tidus swung her around and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Hey I haven't seen you in forever."

"We hung out last week." she giggled.

As the couple talked to each other Rikku approached Sora.

"Hi Sora." she said happily.

He smiled carelessly, "Hey Rikku."

"Are you going to the bonfire tonight?" she asked.

Sora shook his head, "Umm it's not really my scene."

"Don't be ridiculous you should totally come I'll save you a seat." Rikku said with a playful wink.

He blushed, "Okay I'll try."

She gave a small yay and walked off with Payne. Sora stared at the spot she had been occupied seconds ago. He had never been asked to the popular school bonfire before and certainly never by a girl. It wasn't just any girl either Rikku was one of the prettiest girls at school and nice too.

"What just happened?" Roxas asked in shock.

Sora paused, "A miracle?"

/ /

/ /

/ /

Kairi fixed her pink dress as she walked with Namine who wore a simple white dress. The sisters were rushing to school after waking up late and had missed their other friend Selphie.

"Okay we already got our schedules ahead of time so let's just get to class." Kairi said clearly.

Nami nodded, "Sure."

They both walked to their first class pre calc and smiled shyly at their teacher who looked at them suspiciously.

"Nice of you to join us." Mr. White said sarcastically. "Please take a seat in the open seats up front."

Kairi walked with her head down to the open desk and looked surprised at the sleeping Sora to her left. Her sister sat to her right and immediately started drawing. Because of the position he was sleeping she could see a small portion of his face. He had perfectly tan skin and a sweet clear face. His bone structure was almost perfect in shape and if he had opened his perfect blue eyes the moment would've been perfect. She paid attention to the teacher's introduction and patiently waited for the bell to ring.

After a while the bell clanged and everyone hurried out. She sighed once she saw that she had gym next. Namine said she had art and walked off in the other direction. As she entered the gym she noticed that it was pretty much all girls. She shuddered at the thought of how the locker room would be like. She may be a girl herself but the locker room drama wasn't her favorite part of gym. Actually any drama at all wasn't fun. Kairi couldn't help the smile that broke out when Sora lazily walked in.

"Listen up kids this gym class is the one time of day you move your lazy butts so make it count" Coach Johnson shouted. "Because of this recession me and Coach Wilkinson is all you're going to get. So we're mixing the classes."

Girls excitedly chattered next to each other and talked about which boys were cute. She couldn't help but feel happy when Sora's name wasn't mentioned. The other girls didn't see him as clearly as she did. Which was good for her.

Coach clapped his hands loudly, "Don't cause too much trouble or you'll be doing pushups."

"You got it coach" Tidus Allendale shouted with one of his arms around his girlfriend Yuna.

Coach rolled his eyes, "I'd hurt you Allendale but you're my second best soccer player."

"That's right!...Wait second best?" the blonde said confused.

The older man didn't answer and walked away as the whole class broke into chatters. If the first day was any indication on how the year would be Kairi would hopefully have a lot of fun.

/ /

/ /

/ /

Sora put his hands behind his head and walked with Riku, "What are we doing today?"

"Well we're going to the bonfire" Riku shrugged.

He rolled his eyes, "Do I really have to go?"

"Hmmm...want to go get ice cream?" the silver haired boy asked suddenly.

His face lit up, "Gimme!"

Riku drove to the local ice cream parlor and they both got sea salt ice cream bars. Sora was too busy eating ice cream to notice that his friend wasn't driving to his house but to the fashion area of town.

"Okay we're here" Riku smiled.

He looked around confused, "Are you sure this is my house?"

"Nope that's the point" he admitted. "We're going to get a haircut...well you're going to get a haircut."

He shook his head, "I thought you were joking. Hell no, there is no way I'm ever going to do that."

"Hey your ice cream is dripping"

Sora distracted again began eating his ice cream more, "Thanks"

Before he could say anything again Riku dragged him out of the car and pulled him inside the salon.

"Hey Brad can you give my friend here a haircut?" his best friend asked to a particularly...err gay looking man.

Brad smiled, "Honey you are so cute. After I'm done with you sweetie you'll be even cuter."

"Thanks?" he said in a confused manner. "I'm not sure I want to cut my hair..."

His best friend laughed, "He's just joking."

After a few angry fits and screaming Riku managed to tie him to the chair. Then with a few more bribes he didn't struggle. Thirty minutes later Sora had fallen asleep in the chair and was awakened by cold water.

"Sugar pie are you ready to see your new haircut?" the feminine hairdresser asked.

His head felt lighter and his vision seemed better, "I guess."

He couldn't help but drop his mouth when he saw himself. The man in the mirror, haha Michael Jackson reference, looked completely different. His bright blue eyes stood out against his chocolate hair. It seemed that almost all his hair was cut off and was now a short spiky haircut. He wouldn't admit it but he felt more confident than ever.

"Umm thanks Brad"

The gay man smiled, "No problem honey."

"What's next?" he asked his friend as they walked out.

Riku gave him a thumbs up, "We're getting you my friend clothes that don't make you look like such a stoner."

"But..."

His friend interjected, "We made a deal"

"Only because you bought me ice cream you sick jerk."

For the rest of the day the bros messed around and bought clothes. There was a lot of arguing in between but they managed to agree on some things. They finally made it to the bonfire on the beach.

"I don't know if I can do this" Sora nervously said.

His friend sighed, "I've helped you a lot young grasshopper but now it is time for you to grow your wings and fly."

"Do grasshoppers actually have wings?"

"Shut up Sora. The impossible has happened you have been asked somewhere by a girl...that is alive."

"My silver haired friend I have zero to no chance of getting through this."

"My brunette friend be confident you look great."

"What are you now that tiger that says great all the time?"

"God Hikari focus!"

"Okay just promise me you'll pull me out if things get too bad"

"Soldier you've got a deal."

The blue eyed teenager paused, "What is the name of the tiger that says great all the time?"

"Theodore, Todd, I don't know just rock it out man" the older boy motivated him

Sora blew out all the air in his mouth, "I can do this."

/ /

/ /

/ /

Kairi forced a smile, "I'm really sorry you lost your rabbit Alice but I don't have it."

"Are you sure my cat said you did?" the blonde girl said in a complete serious tone.

She slowly inched towards her friends, "I really hope you find him though."

"Why were you talking to Alice?" Selphie asked amused.

She shrugged, "I don't even know."

"I think she's nice" Nami shrugged.

The brunette laughed, "You think everyone's nice."

"True" she added in.

Selphie glared at something behind her, "Rikku get's all the hot transfers."

"I don't think that's a transfer" Namine answered wisely.

Kairi whipped her head back, Rikku was leaning closely to a tall handsome boy. He wore a casual collared wool navy cardigan, light blue checkered button up, white shirt underneath, and dark jeans. His clothes accented his muscular frame and made his short brunette hair pop. Then her eyes drifted to his cerulean ones. When did she see those before?

Her sister sighed tiredly, "C'mon guys his nickname is no face..."

"Oh my god that's SORA?!" Selphie screamed.

How had she not seen that before? Those eyes had seemed familiar because she stared at them all the time. How did he get so much...hotter? It wasn't that she didn't like him before but he was just so much different. Not better just...different. Not to mention she was super jealous that Rikku was so close to him.

"He is _hot_" Selphie exclaimed.

Riku smiled at her with Xion on his arm, "He does doesn't he."

"Hi Riku" she greeted the boy she considered her older brother.

He whistled, "Dang he's got all the girls over him."

"Every cheerleader but Yuna is over there" she said in shock.

Selphie gave her a look, "I mean look at him why wouldn't they be there?"

"Remember when you said he'd never be hot?" Namine asked shyly.

The brunette glared, "Namine don't ruin my happiness."

"Well if you want a chance with him I'd wait in line" Xion said in an amused tone.

/ /

/ /

/ /

Sora smiled nervously at Rikku when she moved even closer to him. The girl was undoubtedly pretty but he didn't know her too well. She seemed more into invading personal space but he had grown slightly more accustomed. It seemed like all the cheerleaders were trying to get close to him. In all honesty he wasn't used to any attention at all.

Rikku pouted, "Sora my legs are so tired. Can you put my blanket out so we can sit?"

"Sure whatever you want" he quickly answered.

After he carefully put the quilted blanket down they sat and Rikku dropped her head onto his shoulder.

"You're so sweet Sora. All of the other guys I dated had no manners." she said sweetly.

He smiled at her, "I try my best."

"I like the haircut and new clothes" she said as she took his hand into her own.

Sora mumbled, "Thanks I was just going for something new."

"It's really cold isn't it?" she asked him as she rubbed her arms.

He paused before he realized that she wanted his jacket, "Oh have my sweater, cardigan thing."

"This is what I mean when I say you're so sweet" she said then hugged him tightly.

When she pulled away slightly he couldn't shake the feeling that she wanted him to kiss her. Before he could move any closer Vanille bounced towards him and lifted him up.

"C'mon Sora you promised to roast marshmallows with me" she said with a cute pout.

He looked apologetically at Rikku, "Sorry a promise is a promise."

"Don't worry about it just come back later" she said and before he could react Rikku pulled him into a short kiss.

Sora blinked, "Okay"

He walked in a daze as Vani dragged him along. That was the first time a girl had kissed him on the lips. Yet it wasn't what everyone had said it would be. There were no magnificent sparks or huge moment of revelation. Just a kiss on his lip that lasted less than a minute. It was a nice feeling her lips had been soft and he had briefly tasted passion fruit. All in all that was a nice first kiss but it wasn't amazing. Vanille and Sora sat on a log by the roaring fire. It was unusually cold for the end of August and he missed his cardigan so the fire helped greatly.

Vanille happily leaned into him as they roasted marshmallows, "Thanks for hanging out with me."

"No problem" he replied.

She made smores and lifted it to his face, "Say ahh"

He accepted the treat, "Thank you."

"Hi Sora...Vanille. Can we sit with you guys?" Selphie said as she gestured to herself and Kairi.

Sora scooted over, "Sure."

"Are you having fun?" the perky brunette asked.

He nodded, "Yeah it's pretty fun. I've never really gone before so it's new to me."

"Kairi tells me you guys have a lot of classes together" she replied and gestured to her blushing friend.

He smiled at Kairi, "That's cool maybe you can help me out when I start failing."

"Sora want to go by the water?" Vanille asked.

He glanced at his watch, "Maybe I should get back to Rikku."

"Please" the red haired girl said as she gave him the puppy dog face.

He gave her an apologetic look, "Sorry Vanille."

As he got up Riku intercepted him. The smug smile on his face made Sora want to punch him.

"So..." his friend drawled.

He gave him a look, "What?"

"You've got these girls all over you and you're being a charmer my friend."

"Yes I'm sure your silver haired head has grown to great proportions."

"Sora aren't you going to thank me for teaching you all I know?"

"I think...that I miss my beautiful chocolate locks."

"Aren't you clever?" Riku replied sarcastically.

He nodded seriously, "I know it's a gift."

"Don't look now but I think the beautiful Cissnei is walking towards you." Riku sang under his breath.

The young teenager ignored him and turned around. True to Riku's word the gorgeous girl was calmly walking towards him with her perfect grace. It was almost like she was floating rather than walking. There was something almost whimsical about her but she was more so angelic. Her voice was as sweet as honey and Sora would probably do anything to hear her say his name. To say he had a crush on her wouldn't be so accurate. Saying he's taken by her made more sense.

Probably because she was so far out of his league that it wasn't funny. Cissnei dated guys who were either hot bad boys or perfect angels. It was always one or the other. Yet the way she was looking at him made him think she might be looking for something different...in his wildest dreams of course.

She gave him her infamous smile, "Hello Sora."

"H..hi Ciss...Cissnei" he answered stumbling on his words a bit.

The red head gestured for him to come closer and he obliged.

Cissnei whispered into his ear, "You're quite popular now."

"I don't know about that" he said as he moved away.

She shrugged, "Well I can see why. You're quite handsome."

"I'm not really I'm just a regular guy."

She nodded, "I guess we all have our own opinions about things. You play guitar right?"

"Umm a bit" he admitted nervously.

The beautiful girl sighed, "I was asking because the talent show is coming up and we really do need more acts. So if you wouldn't mind..."

"Of course whatever you want" Sora said in a rush.

Cissnei gave him a hug, "Thank you so much you're definitely my hero."

"You're welcome" he said in the air as she floated off.

It was amazing that someone like her had talked to him. In fact it was amazing that all these people were talking to him because of a haircut and some clothes. He was happy but yet it didn't seem honest. Not dishonest exactly just..._fake_. But who was to say he was any better than them. So maybe he was wrong maybe being fake is the exact same thing as lying. He wasn't exactly an expert on philosophy and thoughts. The simple sum of what he thought was that lies are as abundant as air. For we breath them in and exhale them out. The hard part is who has the bravery, unprecedented courage to admit to their lies.

AN: Sorry if the ending seemed to go off on a tangent. I have a bit of a tendency to have deep philosophical thoughts when I type lol. If some characters aren't as they usually are umm it was done on purpose. So I hope you all like it and I'm hoping to continue this story.


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